tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40377342011-12-13T21:53:52.047-06:00tears and vomita site dedicated to upholding constant denial to the inevitable fact that life is meaninglessgushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comBlogger1131100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-1120583377204841052005-07-05T12:09:00.000-05:002005-07-05T12:09:37.223-05:00i went up to port washington, wisconsin this weekend. it was really nice. kind of like a miniature east-coast but on lake michigan. well, at least the east coast you often see in movies. the parts near the ocean i mean. ok.
do you have enough of what you need to survive?
i was wondering lately if all we do is find things we want and just try to get as much of that as we can with little regard gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-1119630986775065612005-06-24T11:36:00.000-05:002005-06-24T11:36:26.803-05:00it's been so hot out, but it really hasn't been that bad. of course the only time i'm really exposed to it is when i've gone out to get have a smokarette. and then i usually complain endlessly about the heat. but when i'm driving it's not too bad, even though i don't have air conditioning in my car. i guess maybe it's because i drive 80 miles an hour to get home.
i ate a bunch of ice cream andgushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-1118781933998351242005-06-14T15:45:00.000-05:002005-06-14T15:45:34.023-05:00my family visited this weekend. it was kind of stressful and so i decided i needed a day off. i did not go to work on monday. i haven't played hookey in a good long time. it was great. i highly recommend that everyone play hookey once in the next few months if they can.
it's just a good feeling...so close to a childhood one. to stay at home when nothing is wrong. and lying to your office is gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-1118179534438834662005-06-07T16:25:00.000-05:002005-06-07T16:25:34.476-05:00best song ever made nomination -- You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) by Dead or Alive. shutup i'm right.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-1118161372024146892005-06-07T11:18:00.000-05:002005-06-07T11:22:52.030-05:00so as an update to what has happened since i stopped posting about 2 years ago...i guess i should fill you in on some things. that is, assuming people have gone to this page every day in hopes of a random guy posting about his less-than-exciting life. well, i suppose there's no sense in insulting myself. that's not really fair.i graduated with an art degree in december of 03. i moved in with my gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-1118066442732820192005-06-06T09:00:00.000-05:002005-06-06T09:00:42.800-05:00i had a good weekend. i got to see most of my family and some friends i have not seen for far too long.
there's something great about traveling for the weekend when the weather is nice. something nice about seeing hills and trees instead of flat fields for a change.
on the way home i imagined the clouds in the distance were really far-off mountainsgushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-1117767543507731322005-06-02T21:54:00.000-05:002005-06-02T21:59:03.513-05:00I think I should start writing down my dreams again. I found a book in the back of the aforementioned car (it had sat for almost 2 years) and in it I had started writing down the dreams I had.I will list them for you.10/28/03 - Dreamed I got off work early and could go see Stephanie but had no car. Dreamed me, Matt/Henry and Jason went to see George Lucas who interviewed us for parts in the next gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-1117766602071878942005-06-02T21:39:00.000-05:002005-06-02T21:43:22.076-05:00I'm back. I'm not sure why.I started thinking about this blog thing lately. Part of it is because I got my old car back. I have been through 4 cars in 2 years and now hopefully have a reliable one. My old one, renewed. Frankensteined, if you will.A lot has happened since I last posted. Good things and bad. I guess I could say, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times".Well times gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-917454332003-03-31T19:35:00.000-06:002003-03-31T19:35:37.326-06:00YOU'RE INVITED TO A PARTY!!!!!
who: you and your friends
when: anytime after dark
where: your place
what: action figure party
this is a concept of mine. everyone brings an action figure and acts out their dialogue and behaviors through that figure, manipulating the figures as if everyone were children playing for the entire duration of the party.
please RSVP and be sure to bring an action gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-914871762003-03-27T10:26:00.000-06:002003-03-27T10:26:43.716-06:00i plugged a toaster into my car. it lights up when i throw a switch. maybe people think i am making toast in the back of my car. it looks pretty. maybe i will show you a picture sometime.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-913374992003-03-25T04:19:00.000-06:002003-03-25T04:19:46.763-06:00i have been listening to a lot of middle eastern/asian music lately. some of it is more "classic" but a lot of it is done by techno/trance musicians from those areas. i enjoy the different instruments and chord progressions that are so different than my culture, while most of it is tied together by a beat that i am used to. i'm not sure which direction i would turn someone towards if they were gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-913367352003-03-25T03:50:00.000-06:002003-03-25T03:50:19.920-06:00when i am not depressed i have little to write about. when i am not thinking much about life and am busy experiencing it, i have little to say about it all.
i drive by all sorts of people and see many things. i walk alone in a crowd of people, all going about their daily activities.
breezy days and beautiful sunsets
rubber shoes on plastic feet
in such a hurry to get nowhere
i hate receiving gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-910576252003-03-20T07:54:00.000-06:002003-03-20T07:54:41.950-06:00oh ya. when we were in nyc we saw the dell guy. steven. you know, "dude you're getting a dell!" that guy. he was running to class when we were checking out a student gallery at NYU. wow a real celebrity. that poor guy. people who recognize him probably always feel compelled to shout "dude you're getting a dell!"gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-910026112003-03-19T11:51:00.000-06:002003-03-19T11:57:36.000-06:00one of our high school friend's fathers died the day before i came back from NY. two brothers are left fatherless. one is my age and married, the other is just shy of 18. where will he go? he is like a little brother to all of us, and his father was like our own as well.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-910025002003-03-19T11:49:00.000-06:002003-03-19T11:49:33.670-06:00(transformers)
new yorkers, robots in disguisegushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-909430632003-03-18T14:18:00.000-06:002003-03-18T14:18:57.123-06:00new york city was a different world. i liked it. it was tiring in a way, but then again i was partying every night and walking all day...so... i'm sure it's not like that normally. thanks to everyone in new york who showed me a good time who might be reading this. yes. i'd like to move there eventually.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-904460592003-03-10T02:42:00.000-06:002003-03-10T02:42:57.763-06:00things to do in the near future:
burn knightrider theme onto cd for car audio enjoyment
cash fat checks prior to leaving town
buy some bling bling while i'm at it (it seemed to follow along with my first two)
find out what that strange paper-shuffling sound is that seems to be coming from nowhere is
clean something
think of something to write downgushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-901847672003-03-05T11:14:00.000-06:002003-03-05T11:14:17.950-06:00i would like to take this opportunity to let all you readers out there know that i am not against receiving and responding to "fan" mail and i also appreciate fat green stacks of cash and other commodities.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-901839962003-03-05T10:59:00.000-06:002003-03-05T10:59:53.793-06:00i saw coldplay in concert last night at the murat in indianapolis. it was really good, but the most excitement came from the two encores. it was hard not to be bothered by the person sitting in front of me who had an enormous head. i wanted to tell him to stop leaning away from the girl he was with. "hey, pretend you aren't afraid of her, buddy!"
and then there was the drunken ass across the gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-900387802003-03-03T01:45:00.000-06:002003-03-03T01:45:57.653-06:00tall legs wrap me up
her firm body is supple
anticipationgushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-900386602003-03-03T01:42:00.000-06:002003-03-03T01:42:12.890-06:00you just think too much
you just talk too much
be yourself, but not too much
be yourself, as long as its someone differentgushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-898260592003-02-27T01:53:00.000-06:002003-02-27T01:53:44.450-06:00i want to emphasis how incredibly at peace i felt when we crashed, because that is the part that still seems the strangest to me. when i got home this afternoon from revisiting and dealing with the wreck site, a radiohead t-shirt i had ordered arrived, which i bought for the message on the front of the shirt. though it's irrelevant, it reads: "most people gaze neither into the past nor the futuregushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-898258532003-02-27T01:46:00.000-06:002003-02-27T01:48:51.000-06:00so i probably shouldn't have lived, and my friend who was driving probably shouldn't have either. the ford expedition rolled onto my side first when we swerved off the road and into the ditch, and then onto its top where it slid for about 30 feet, filling the cab of the car with dirt. i remember it very vividly, my body being flipped over - it really reminded me of when i was a kid and i'd get gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-897681122003-02-26T04:06:00.000-06:002003-02-26T04:06:04.310-06:00a man let me and a friend come into his house tonight to stay warm. he gave us coffee. my friend flipped his truck and we were ok. we are lucky. i had mud in my hair. i'll wash it out tomorrow. i'm glad i'm alive.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-896540582003-02-24T11:42:00.000-06:002003-02-24T11:42:24.356-06:00i realized something. i am selfish. and i started feeling sorry for myself that the only person i really ever care or think about is myself. and then i realized how ironic that was.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-894134042003-02-19T23:02:00.000-06:002003-02-19T23:02:39.963-06:00i want to live on a medium-sized island, with all the versions of myself there. all the stages of me that ever existed. developmental stages. i would wander around meeting them all and get to know each one of them quite well. then i would probably kill most of them except the ones i like.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-894100762003-02-19T21:59:00.000-06:002003-02-19T21:59:57.830-06:00quit trying to make your point over and over. a bed of nails can't puncture anything.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-893217272003-02-18T13:20:00.000-06:002003-02-18T13:20:51.213-06:00pert plus: shampoo AND conditioner - what a great idea! it will save you time! also, pee while you shower.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-892496672003-02-17T11:48:00.000-06:002003-02-17T11:48:26.836-06:00i had trouble sleeping last night. i went to bed at about 9 p.m. after popping two antihistamines. i kept waking up and looking at the clock at intervals that seemed to defy time. i have some kind of flu and whenever i'm sick and trying to sleep, i lose my concepts of time. one minute it is 4:35, then it is 2:30. and as time passes, i don't think of it as the advancement of time, but some kind ofgushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-891782772003-02-16T01:34:00.000-06:002003-02-16T01:36:50.000-06:00valentine's day is an interesting holiday
i think it helps emphasis the fact that as a society, we are geared towards not being single. it goes past even traditional relationships. valentine's day supports all forms of romantic relationships. but what about those of us that find ourselves alone on this particular day? by the way, my father and his girlfriend were born yesterday, valentine's day. gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-889922422003-02-12T15:09:00.000-06:002003-02-12T15:09:08.070-06:00i think we're going crazy
things don't even phaze me
her left eye is lazy
nicotine and gravy
miracles amaze me
she looks so israeli
love the way she plays me
think i'm goin' crazy
i don't wanna die tonight
beck - nicotine and gravygushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-889912442003-02-12T14:47:00.000-06:002003-02-12T14:47:30.093-06:00a man called me on the phone and asked me if i would sit in court and draw pictures of people. i decided i would and they put one in the newspaper i guess. here is a link to the online version.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-889651472003-02-12T04:06:00.000-06:002003-02-12T04:06:31.450-06:00i love my friends. they are like a second family. my own family. we found eachother partly by accident, sort of like how a traditional nuclear family comes into existence half by accident and half by planning. my cat is rubbing against my leg because she wants me to come to bed and cuddle with her. i guess i will since typing seems really boring right now, especially since it's 4 a.m. goodnight gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-889290982003-02-11T14:16:00.000-06:002003-02-11T14:16:57.666-06:00i imagine god sitting up there wherever he is, with the game controller in his hands, furiously pushing buttons and trying to get power-ups while thinking to himself, "why the hell did i enable satan-mode. i hate this fucking game."gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-888136082003-02-09T15:31:00.000-06:002003-02-09T15:31:45.950-06:00properghandigushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-888120952003-02-09T14:55:00.000-06:002003-02-09T14:55:27.720-06:00men are afraid to have strong emotional connections to other men because of the overwhelming homophobia that grips our society. therefore, they look for a very deep connection in the opposite sex. girls, who have strong emotional connections to most of their friends already, are put off by men who are needy and emotional because to them it is just like having another friend. it is deep. the girlsgushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-888108132003-02-09T14:22:00.000-06:002003-02-09T14:22:59.000-06:00i want to live in a ficticious world where america is in turmoil and there is no real government. a post-apocalyptic america where we band together as warring gangs and roam the great states, killing and pillaging. we will take what we need as we salvage from burned-out cities and enemies we have laid to rest. beef jerky and rocket launchers.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-888107002003-02-09T14:19:00.000-06:002003-02-09T14:19:20.180-06:00i seen it coming
i heard the bells toogushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-887428402003-02-07T22:57:00.000-06:002003-02-07T22:57:44.050-06:00mama's boys become artistsgushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-886543142003-02-06T10:33:00.000-06:002003-02-06T10:33:35.440-06:00yesterday we laid a chapter of history in the ground and said goodbye. rest in peace jesse e. scofield. i will not forget you my friend.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-885442512003-02-04T13:07:00.000-06:002003-02-04T13:08:16.000-06:00So long to this cold, cold part of the world
So long to this bone-bleached part of the world
So long to this salt-soaked part of the world
I stepped down as president of Antarctica
Can't blame me
Don't blame me
So long to this sad, sad part of the world
So long
Modest Mouse - The Cold Part
goodbye grey skies, hello blue
one of my friends said "it is nice to have you back". holy shit. gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-885438732003-02-04T12:58:00.000-06:002003-02-04T13:00:07.000-06:00i was drawing a still-life of some eggs and a hand grenade laid out on a towel on a table. my cat thought i should draw her instead. i hit her with a pencil and she broke an egg. we laughed about it later.
i'm glad i didn't throw the grenade.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-884994102003-02-03T18:00:00.000-06:002003-02-03T18:00:33.463-06:00pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is a long word.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-883944222003-02-01T16:33:00.000-06:002003-02-01T16:33:50.376-06:00i'm my own best friend and my worst enemy.
hey self, you look like you could use a good night out on the town.
no can do, i gotta be at work in the morning.
do it anyway.
alright.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-883419382003-01-31T13:51:00.000-06:002003-01-31T13:51:31.606-06:00i mentioned sitting on a fence earlier this week. i bet i'm supposed to stay on the fence...i bet that's the place to be. i don't want to be on either side of it. besides, falling off a fence fucking hurts.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-883417332003-01-31T13:46:00.000-06:002003-01-31T13:46:36.210-06:00i talked on the phone to a friend. it was pleasant.
phones are neat.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-883163362003-01-31T02:06:00.000-06:002003-01-31T02:06:57.156-06:00lying just beneath the surface of the pain and bad fortune that we all experience, is perfection. each moment we experience is pointing us in the direction of the perfect life that we seek.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-883059662003-01-30T21:39:00.000-06:002003-01-30T21:59:35.000-06:00i feel like i just recently got through a major life crisis. one that lasted several months. i feel like myself. i'm sorry for anyone who spent any amount of time with me...well, shit - over the past year and a half really. i thought i was cured from my long and tragic (yes, tragic. like shakespeare) learning experience shortly after it ended, but the aftershock of it was still very strong. it gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-882759562003-01-30T11:13:00.000-06:002003-01-30T11:15:48.000-06:00well i am just now getting my car back today. it has been in the shop since the last time i mentioned it. i split the harmonic balancer on my dampener pulley, so it took some time to acquire a used one and get it put on along with the missing belts that were lost when that happened. but no i am not just blabbing about my car without purpose. the point is that i have been carless since then. i gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-882575802003-01-30T02:29:00.000-06:002003-01-30T02:29:29.146-06:00take a ride on a downtown train
wake-up so you can get drunk again well
take a drive in the wrong hand lane
got bad breath talking bout fresh rain
we taught the mirror how to admire itself
are you gonna get sick worrying bout your health
where do I land
I don't understand
isaac brock [modest mouse] (the fruit that ate itself EP) [the fruit that ate itself]gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-882573492003-01-30T02:19:00.000-06:002003-01-30T02:19:54.010-06:00i bounced a check.
i watched fear and loathing in las vegas tonight for the first time. it was great. i can't remember much of it though, so i'll have to watch it again when i am more... together. yes. i decided that i want to do an image of the tea party scene from alice in wonderland. perhaps i want to do several alice in wonderland scenes, but in particular the tea party scene came to mind gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-880421442003-01-26T04:06:00.000-06:002003-01-26T04:06:54.510-06:00today i hung out with one of my friends and his girlfriend, whom i had only met for the first time several weeks ago. at one point they danced together to a seemingly undanceable song, and it was so beautiful that i couldn't stop smiling and complimenting on what a beautiful couple they were. i hope to one day find a significant other who i can dance with in the same way that i would dance if i gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-879704922003-01-24T13:23:00.000-06:002003-01-24T13:23:00.726-06:00yesterday right before getting to work the fan belt on my car snapped and i lost power steering and power to my water pump. i almost overheated my car. tomorrow i will change the belt. i really do love my car, despite its problematic nature. i look at it this way - soon everything on it will be brand new.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-878894612003-01-23T02:32:00.000-06:002003-01-24T12:53:51.000-06:00i just watched "we were soldiers". it was a great film as it does good justice to the men who fought in the vietnam war without being too hollywood. one track stands out in the musical score, and i suggest that if you don't see the movie, you at least try to check out this song. here are the lyrics, in their original scottish...i hope you can translate them on your own. its not that hard.
"Sgt gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-878587782003-01-22T14:45:00.000-06:002003-01-22T14:45:50.406-06:00did you know that utopia translates from greek to literally mean "no place" or "not place"? basically...it means nothing.
everyone is looking for utopia, and i think most people will find it.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-878586572003-01-22T14:43:00.000-06:002003-01-22T14:43:23.810-06:00my car was impounded because it wasn't 100% off of the road. a country road. oh well. i'm still in a pretty good mood. and part of that is because a friend recently told me about this great idea that i have started doing...
take junk mail from one company and stuff it into the pre-paid return envelope of another junk mail company and send it to them. try it. it elicits a surprising amount of gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-878477622003-01-22T10:52:00.000-06:002003-01-22T10:52:20.393-06:00ha..and i sure sound intelligent talking about my car when i'm drunk.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-878294562003-01-22T01:29:00.000-06:002003-01-22T01:29:58.923-06:00ah yes and today ia lso fucke up my car somehow. i think it is the fuel pump or my ECU....i was hotrodding it out on a country raod witha friend and between first and second gear the car basically died and had no ability to burn more fuel than it hsould have been. so its stranded. i will call tomorrow to see what's up. too bad no mitsubshi specialists in the area. must rely on the average idiot.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-878292472003-01-22T01:22:00.000-06:002003-01-22T01:22:31.196-06:00i had a great night. i went out with two of my buddies to the uptowern bar and we playe da lot of foosball. i dont know how many pelple know about foosball but it 's a great gamewhchi i supose could be called talbe soccer. i learned a lot. we won qite a few games too. holy shit i'm drunk. sorry.
no confessions
nothing gained, nothing lost. nothing learned except the fine art of foosball. peacegushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-877988202003-01-21T14:16:00.000-06:002003-01-21T14:16:03.100-06:00i am currently happy. or at least very close to it. this is the best i think i've felt without the aid of chemicals in quite a long time. disliking someone you used to care for DOES take a lot of energy. damn, i feel so much better.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-877907402003-01-21T11:19:00.000-06:002003-01-21T11:19:31.183-06:00alright, this is pretty cool. if you want to see what my page would look like if i were a 13 year old "d00d" then check out this link:
http://www.degraeve.com/scripts/babel2/babel.cgi?d=jeffk&url=http%3A%2F%2Ftearsandvomit.blogspot.comgushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-877721302003-01-21T01:15:00.000-06:002003-01-21T01:15:36.390-06:00you can burn bridges but telephone lines find their way across. i'm glad because trying to despise someone is a lot of work.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-877188062003-01-20T02:31:00.000-06:002003-01-20T02:31:31.050-06:00i was bored for awhile at work tonight and so i ended up drawing a design on the inside of my left wrist in marker and pen. it looks like some kind of funky futuristic alien language or design. maybe something you'd see on one of those star trek shows. someone said i should get a tattoo of it, which got me to thinking about how many times i'd contemplated getting a tattoo but decided against it. gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-877185022003-01-20T02:19:00.000-06:002003-01-20T02:19:39.896-06:00we are all hurtling forward at the speed of life. someone cut the brake-line and released the clutch. it's all coasting forward without power steering or even a horn to honk at oncoming traffic.
sometimes i have a dream about a car crash in the rain. the car is being rolled as it flips out of control, tumbling over itself. everything is in slow motion and i can see the windshield shattering - gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-877177252003-01-20T01:53:00.000-06:002003-01-20T01:57:27.000-06:00i am now linked to a disclaimer. i read it on another blog and thought it was humorous as well as largely true.
--
that is not to say that any of this is directed towards anyone that i currently keep in contact with.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-876922452003-01-19T14:49:00.000-06:002003-01-19T14:49:00.360-06:00you can't win against foolsgushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-876896022003-01-19T13:34:00.000-06:002003-01-19T13:36:31.000-06:00last night one of my friends said to me in more or less the exact words: "you know gus, you've been so cool to hang out with ever since your girl dumped you"
wow. i didnt know how to take that at first... but i guess i will just say it meant a lot to me. it's a nice feeling to find a group of people who appreciate you. which is actually something i've been thinking about quite a bit since late gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-876881412003-01-19T12:53:00.000-06:002003-01-19T12:54:27.000-06:00in the dream i had last night, i had a nice, full, great looking beard. i probably will never be able to attain such a status with my current facial scruff. but boy if i could, i would grow a huge bushy beard and grow my hair long. then i'd walk around looking like jesus ...at least the idealized jesus.
i saw the reverend james brown, hardest working man in showbusiness at walmart once prior to gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-876872622003-01-19T12:28:00.000-06:002003-01-19T12:28:26.603-06:00i use spirits to chase my ghosts awaygushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-876323222003-01-18T02:56:00.000-06:002003-01-18T02:57:17.000-06:00fun
click the lightswitch at the end. and then go back if you want to see more.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-876167402003-01-17T18:49:00.000-06:002003-01-17T18:49:37.960-06:00Everyone's afraid of their own life
If you could be anything you want
I bet you'd be disappointed, am I right?
No one really knows the ones they love
If you knew everything they thought
I bet that you'd wish that they'd just shut up
Well, you were the dull sound of sharp math
When you were alive
No ones gonna play the harp when you die
And if I had a nickel for every damn dime
I’d have gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-875817962003-01-17T03:08:00.000-06:002003-01-17T03:08:02.590-06:00i threw up what appeared to be the cheese from my taco bell purhcase earlier tonight. i believe this is an indicator that i perhaps am lactose intolerant. i apologize for those who found this information too graphic in its detail of human bodily function and dysfunction.
i had a good thought not too long ago. don't try to find someone who you can make into the one you love, find the one you gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-875420602003-01-16T11:35:00.000-06:002003-01-16T11:35:09.700-06:00i came home from work wednesday the 15th to find a message on my answering machine from my landlord saying that i needed to call him about paying the rent, and that it was currently thursday at 6 p.m. the rent was due the 15th and for the first time i am going to exercise my 5 day grace period because i won't be able to cover it until this friday when i get paid. however, it angered me how quickgushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-874649192003-01-15T01:45:00.000-06:002003-01-15T01:45:30.700-06:00for the longest time i thought people stopped having "sleep" in their eyes at a certain age. those crusty things in the corners of your eyes. but i asked a few people about it and it seems i am the only one. i should do a full survey. i think my tear ducts might not function properly. maybe thats why i never cry.
or maybe its because i'm actually a robot......
i used to think i was the tinmangushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-874343252003-01-14T14:36:00.000-06:002003-01-14T14:38:56.000-06:00charriots of fire by vangelis is perhaps the greatest group of music ever written by man. i'm talkin about the whole album. when's the last time you really listened to it? i wonder how many people have heard those crappy rehashes of it on t.v. shows and not even known what it was... homework: listen to the original, and some other vangelis. maybe some of his stuff from bladerunner. vangelis. gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-873626942003-01-13T12:08:00.000-06:002003-01-13T12:10:04.000-06:00last night i had a lot of trouble sleeping for whatever reason. i do remember having a dream right before i finally gave up on getting mass amounts of sleep, however...
i was somewhere talking with my father and he needed my help to steal a car that belonged to us anyway, but had for some complex reason been taken. having the rest of the dream about accomplishing that task would have been fun. gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-873428762003-01-13T01:37:00.000-06:002003-01-13T01:37:55.930-06:00my sister scored me a flask from russia. a flask? whats that? to put hard liquor in. it has a sweet kgb emblem on the front and lenin's silhouette on the cap. it's super fly and now i can be a true alcoholic. the best gifts are those that help people kill themselves. thanks sis!gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-873043542003-01-12T07:56:00.000-06:002003-01-12T07:56:02.206-06:00a friend gave me this link. now i give it to you. it is fun. http://www.urbandictionary.com/
copy and paste cause i'm lazygushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-872828342003-01-11T18:25:00.000-06:002003-01-11T18:25:35.336-06:00perhaps one of a moon's functions is to act as a shield for large, stray meteors that are close to its planet. sort of like flailing a mace around your head. just a thought.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-872349972003-01-10T15:17:00.000-06:002003-01-10T15:17:18.286-06:00i have decided to offer products for people to consume. you will find a link on the left hand side. i am not quite ready yet, but i plan to have artwork and various catchy sayings and whatnot for your purchasing enjoyment soon. all i have up there now is a mug with a really dorky picture of me on it from a few years ago. a test. i'm sure they will be a very limited run, so purchase them while yougushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-871619512003-01-09T06:24:00.000-06:002003-01-09T06:25:19.000-06:00he heard them
he really did
the demons under the floor
he had listened to them quietly for the past few days
"im not sure if they are aware of my awarance to their presence"
they have been planning something
if you listen carefully you can hear the slight chittering
but mostly its the shuffling around down there,
dragging their fat bodies with their little stumpy legs
he is coughing now, quite gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-871614152003-01-09T06:03:00.000-06:002003-01-09T06:03:34.196-06:00anticipation destroys reality
listening to someone talk blah blah blah
they try to interest me in their blah blah something or other
something about life or whatnot, children and divorce
she's sitting across from me and i think she is either looking at the little pink place at the corner of my eye or she is trying to look through me. i look through her and see mostly nerve synapses that aren't gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-871608062003-01-09T05:41:00.000-06:002003-01-09T05:41:21.810-06:00i almost had a brilliant thought. i dont know quite where it went. i was thinking about cycles. spheres. globes. circles. i was thinking how everything a person does...on the smallest scale or the largest...is somehow based on a common circle. but now i cant remember where iw as going with this so i will assume it was just a lost thought.
and then it hit me. trying to come up with some kind of gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-871065882003-01-08T04:49:00.000-06:002003-01-08T04:49:56.670-06:00at some point over the last few days i was thinking about feelings. i mean sensations when i say that.
like...nerves. feelings you feel through your nerves. what if they were crossed? what if your hand felt very warm when it should be feeling numb from lack of bloodflow? what if your face felt wet when it was very warm or cold? i think this actually happens to me sometimes. i was thinking about gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-871062252003-01-08T04:33:00.000-06:002003-01-08T04:33:55.543-06:00i stole a can of peanuts
i stuffed it in the pocket of my hoody on the way out
it wasn't such a thrill as it used to be
just a feeling of comfort
knowing i would soon have my next meal
gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-870418742003-01-06T22:04:00.000-06:002003-01-06T22:04:20.740-06:00on some distant planet, aliens are learning about us through stray satellite transmissions. they are watching reruns and documentaries, movies and mini-series. when they get here, they will take off their sweater-jackets, change into more comfortable shoes, and kindly greet our leader (in their best english) with: "won't you be my neighbor?"gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-869953872003-01-06T00:38:00.000-06:002003-01-06T22:20:09.000-06:00-opening a coke bottle only to find that it is the center of a blackhole and sucks the universe inside
-standing still and moving the earth around you with your mind
-a conveyor belt made of paper, and my eye being cut because someone pushed me against it
-the large shadow of a whale in the deep ocean, swimming past me at night
-sounds who's origins cannot be identified
-the sound of branchesgushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-869933222003-01-05T23:37:00.000-06:002003-01-05T23:37:20.470-06:00you shone your true colors
like a setting sun
no one cares
these hands have seen it all
these eyes have seen it all
wandering aimlessly
in a hurry to get nowhere
feeling old at 21
tendons like worn-out fiddle sticks
backtracking thoughts to the beginning
watching an instant replay of life
looking for meaning around each corner
leaving your emotional baggage at the terminal
gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-869491622003-01-04T23:16:00.000-06:002003-01-04T23:16:14.786-06:00on the road
out of road
going out
out of gas
out of road
out of car
out of everything at last
(isaac braac)gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-869468452003-01-04T22:13:00.000-06:002003-01-04T22:20:40.000-06:00today i found myself at walmart in the checkout lane. the cashier was busy checking out the purchase of the person i was with, and in the meantime the next customer was busy placing all of her items on the conveyer belt. the belt wouldn't shut off on its own so it just kept sliding along, moving all of the items around as if they were dancing, till they finally bunched up against eachother in gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-869327372003-01-04T14:53:00.000-06:002003-01-04T14:55:26.000-06:00If Destiny's Child were kittens from Northern England, this is what they would sound like
http://www.rathergood.com/independent_woman/gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-868695032003-01-03T03:02:00.000-06:002003-01-03T03:02:01.386-06:00i dont feel like sleeping
there's nothing to miss out on, but still
sleeping is so boring and sort of sad and lonely sometimes. it's kind of scary to wake up in the dark and be alone, in a sense. i guess it'd be scarier to wake up in the dark and not be alone though, if you thought you were. ah, perspective.
there are paw prints all over my white walls. the cats defy gravity when i'm not looking.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-868382912003-01-02T12:56:00.000-06:002003-01-02T13:17:40.000-06:00early morning
no time to brush teeth, generic listerine
drink caffeine
drive car like sled across mud slush roads
come home, ingest antihistamine
head stops running, so does nose
i'm not sure what i mean
nap for a bit and then return
shower, prepare body for the next life
go to work, be a machinegushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-868210262003-01-02T02:36:00.000-06:002003-01-02T02:41:58.000-06:00i figured something out today i guess. well, i suppose i figure out stuff everyday...which is why i write here, so i can remember it or something.
i think i know why life seems hard for people my age. by the way i am 21 for those that don't know me personally. i think it's because we're in sort of a limbo...we're not quite adults but we're not children anymore, and we wish we could be one or thegushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-867784622003-01-01T01:30:00.000-06:002003-01-01T01:30:08.303-06:00well i rang in the new year with a lot of friends from the town where i went to high school. it was pretty fun, nothing of note really. for me personally, the best part about it being 2003 is that i will think it is the right year, because for some reason i kept thinking it was 2003 all year. go figure.
i've been keeping myself occupied with video games when not at work, so this has cut back agushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-866470402002-12-28T22:33:00.000-06:002002-12-28T22:33:15.790-06:00cops aren't so bad.
as you get older and start to do illegal things, or even think about doing illegal things...whether it be drugs, petty crime, or just driving fast, all american youth tend to fear and loath cops. today i was out of my hometown to pick up a transmission out of a parts car, and realized i didn't have the keys. a quick call to the police and a few minutes of standing around in gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-866074972002-12-27T19:29:00.000-06:002002-12-27T19:29:19.333-06:00i am emotional. i am an artist.
i can change, but i cannot change my core.
i will not apologize for being what i am, because although i reinvent myself each morning, the core was made by something else. someone will embrace me for me.
someone will embrace you for yougushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-866038142002-12-27T17:08:00.000-06:002002-12-27T17:08:29.153-06:00it's cold. i watched this movie last night called Quest for Fire. don't know if any of you have ever heard of it or seen it, but it's pretty interesting. it's about ancient humans 80,000 years ago and the plot of the movie is that the main character's tribe sends him on a.....yes, quest for fire. fire is life and this was around the time when primitive people had not yet discovered how to create gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-865771292002-12-27T00:02:00.000-06:002002-12-27T00:02:45.770-06:00by the way my friend is out of the hospital. he didn't get to see his family on christmas, which really sucks..but at least he is alright.
did you know that alright isn't actually a word? i think it should be.gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4037734.post-865615742002-12-26T15:49:00.000-06:002002-12-26T15:49:02.483-06:00i hope everyone got all the loot they wanted for consumerism celebration day. i bought myself a pack of cigs. the great thing about smoking is i can kill myself whenever i feel like it, but only partially. cause i certainly don't want to die all at once, then i would miss out on all the good things that life surely has in store for me. but i can kill myself in little pieces whenever i feel like gushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16645187303271339844noreply@blogger.com